In my own personal journey of trying to be a better person, I realised that it was all about aiming to be happy. Nothing more, nothing less. When you’re happy, you’re effectively better in every aspect of your life.

The second realisation is that happiness comes from shedding the unnecessary in life, as in you need to stop caring about certain things.

The third realisation? A lot of these unnecessary things are painfully obvious. More often than not, it’s plain common sense.

Here’s 10 things happy people don’t care for.

1. AGE

Indeed, age is just a number. And happy people know this for sure.

They don’t let this ever-increasing number define who they are and what they do.  They just do whatever it is they want!

Life is short. Before you know it, age catches up. You might as well make full use of life before your body actually reflects your age. (Read Still Here: Embracing Aging, Changing, Dying by Ram Dass.)



This is one of the biggest blocks to our happiness.

Happy people don’t care for that. They recognise that the words of others are never accurate and should never judge them for who they are and what they’re capable of.

Instead, they block it out. They don’t allow such false illusions to get in the way of what it is they want to do or how they feel. Only what they think of themselves matter.



That’s not to say happy people are unemployed.

The key idea is: You’re not your job.

Sure, a job is important for stability and survival in today’s society. But other than that, your job scope and status at work should be left at the office. If you don’t, it’s going to seep into your everyday life and you’d end up feeling tired, bored or stressed out.

What matters more is your talent, passion and outlook on life. Allowing your job to take over any of that would only mean you’re allowing a label to define who you are.



Fear is not real. Happy people know that.

With that, they know that the nervousness and anxiety that supposedly comes with fear are not real. They block it out, get out of their comfort zone, feel a little crazy and just do what they want anyway.

There’s just no point holding back in life just because you feel a little scared.



There’s a lot of disturbing stuff going on out there. War, protests, riots, animals going extinct or innocent people having bad things happen to them.

Happy people don’t deny any of these, but they do a good job in making sure it doesn’t affect how they feel.

The happiest people I know simply focus on trying to make the world a better place, one small step at a time. They may not be able to create a revolution overnight, but they know that by showing a little kindness and compassion to our fellow man, the world is that much more positive already.

Don’t let the negative in life get to you. It’s not your fault others have made it this way.


“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with”.

Brilliant quote.

Ever had to deal with an annoying friend or somebody who’s just really self-destructive?

Dump them. It’s time to create a positive environment for yourself.

Happy people gain happiness from the people they are with and not just from within. This is an amazing life hack that most people overlook. If you’re feeling unhappy, take a look around. Sometimes it’s the people that are just dragging you down.



The past does not exist, neither does the future.

If you want to be happy, you’ve got to let go of the past and move on with life. Learn from it and grow from it, then make sure you don’t repeat the same mistakes.

As for the future, happy people pretty much let go of expectations.

When you let go of the past and future, then you can truly enjoy the present. (Read Power of Now)



Start doing things for the sake of doing things. Help others for the sake of being compassionate. The true reward is knowing that you’ve added positivity in others.

Happy people let go of always wanting something in return. That’s how they never get disappointed.



Complaining is the result of an unhappy life. Sometimes things don’t go your way. You can’t escape that.

But complaining is useless. Happy people know that. They’re instead, grateful for what they have and then they try to find the solution with a positive mindset.



Just like age, there’re a lot of labels out there that try to define who we are. Expectations are always thrown at us and it can be pretty overwhelming at times.

Happy people don’t care for any of that. They take time their time. They look within and do what they want in life.

This is how happiness is created: Not doing things you don’t care for.


What makes you happy in life? Let us know in the comments below!

  • Stephanie Claire

    Yes! Thank god some one has this written down some where! I feel like I spend my life wondering if I am the only person who realises negativity is a choice!

    • Alden Tan

      It sure is. There’s a lot of power within us. Too bad we kind of always go the other way.

  • I feel happy when I do things that i don’t usually do. I love it when I get out of my comfort zone!

    • Alden Tan

      It was scary at first, but after that, meh! It’s how we should all live.

    • Malte

      exactly! when i was a child i was always scared to sing or play an instrument in front of others! and the first time i went busking i felt more then uncortable. But in review it really ment happiness for me.

  • dog


    • Deb Taylor

      I’m not sure what your intention is with this comment but i’m going to take it seriously because suicide is not a joke. If you are really felling bad, please go and talk to someone: a friend, your doctor, a counsellor or call a service like Lifeline. The strategies listed in the article are good steps to take on the path to feeling better about yourself and life but if it all looks hopeless then you do need some help. AND THAT’S OK!!!

    • Alden Tan

      If you do mean happy people don’t care for suicide, then yeah you’re right.

      Yet, your comment is super ambiguous. Suicide isn’t a joke. Please go get some professional help. It WILL help. Please don’t throw your life away.

      • Truth

        Happy people are ignorant of suicide you mean.

  • Darius Warren Holmes

    Yes Toxic people are not healthy but when the toxic people are your loved ones you cannot simply abandon them. You help them rise up while realizing to not take on their toxicness and make it your own. Instead stay strong and be their for them when they need it.

    • That’s exactly what i was thinking about! 😉

      • SM

        you guys realize that is the total opposite point if this article…

        • kuyaDin

          you do realize that the negative state of your comment is something i don’t care for because i am happy

    • Alden Tan

      Or you could let them make their mistakes on their own too. Sometimes that’s essential.

      • Dylan Cunliffe

        Of course, the point is that your there when they need you. Mind you, keeping sure to not step over the thin line of enabling.

      • Memphis Johnny

        Exactly! You can’t help some one that doesn’t want to be helped. But when they finally realize no one buys their garbage, sometimes they make a change.

      • Ochi9

        Yes, the *lesson is in the struggle.

      • Parents? — Let alone when you wrote this note, mom and dad have quit talking ‘good’ on anything but agendas and their dates; maybe a washing machine job or something. — If I tell dad to tell me to give a message to mom (never mind that mom’s either at malls, on the computer in bed or taking a bath, lol — almost always though); dad always has a sentence like: I’ll tell her; I don’t ever tell her anything though I don’t want to bother her; your mother and I don’t talk. — So he’s not going to tell her. Really. Well, I can hear almost nothing on speakerphone, so………

    • Dylan Cunliffe

      Haha I scrambled to the comments to say just this. Obviously the author has never heard that selflessness brings about more happiness than any of the aforementioned.

      • jx64

        yes, as selfish as it may be, doing what YOU want is the best way to be happy

    • Em Lu Pin

      Very much agree, having time for people who may be be self destructive but have other strengths is all about being accepting and caring for people despite their faults!

      • Em Lu Pin

        And happy people also protest- it is a form of free speech and democracy and helps us air our views and tell others

    • danger0517


    • aditya

      Hey your comment really helped 🙂 . I always feel like one of those self destructive toxic kinds and feeling so makes me isolate myself further from my loved ones . They have supported me so far but now I just think I should be alone and sort myself out to be around them and others . But hey I have also been there for a lot of friends when my life was good so yeah karma maybe 😛 . Thanks much love to you

    • enlguy

      Yeah, you can. After years and years of abuse, I decided I no longer had a family about five years ago, and the past five years have been some of the best years of my life. No more dealing with people that tell me they love me, yet treat me like shit. No more being punched and abused… You CAN cut them out, and a lot of times, you need to.

      • missygal_162002

        So true. Just because we are family does not mean I have to stick around. Its sad to say but they have been the reason why I had so many problems.They allowed me to be molested and abused as a child that I never learned how to set healthy boundaries and assert myself. They never stood up for me or even themselves. Sometimes family is the worse people you can be around. I have had strangers treat me better than family. Cutting them off has been the best decision I have ever made. I have peace and joy more than ever, and once I learned that, that became my new norm and no one will take that away. Its hard going back to a place that caused you so much pain. I agree with you…the people saying to just deal with it..are crazy or must have a great family

      • cee

        I am so sorry for what you both went through. At the same time please understand that there is a world of difference between cutting off people who abuse you and cutting off people who are emotionally stuck in their negativity, especially considering that’s usually just a bump or hurdle that they will eventually come out of. You don’t cut people you love off for being downers. Abuse, sure. Negative, well, that’s just cruel.

        • Ceunei

          Oh yes you can. Sometimes it is a matter of preserving one’s self. I suspect, Cee, you may be an abuser.

          • cee

            No. You are the abuser, clearly, attacking people online who you have never met and with histories you don’t know.

      • MDIMaine-ah

        Same here – had to cut out my mother and my sister three years ago. Haven’t been happier!

    • missygal_162002

      Speak for yourself Darius, but that does not work for everyone. Why work through a relationship with someone who is technically slowly killing you. You cant help someone that don’t want or think they need help. I am referring to people who abuse and control people. Those people you have to remove out of your life. It does not mean you don’t love them, it means you love you enough to walk away and not let them continue to cause you more harm. You are not loving people to let them repeatedly control and abuse you, or disrespect you; you are actually playing the fool. I will not be a persons trashcan to dump their garbage on. I believe in letting people vent their problems, but when I am a target of their rage or abuse they have got to GO!

      • seriously. my blood pressure was well above stroke levels. then a miracle occurred – my mother moved to florida. my blood pressure fell like a bomb, and i’ve been a lot healthier. physically and mentally. if someone is toxic, regardless *who* they are, i simply refuse to be around them. period.

    • lup1

      Actually, why, just because they are your familly? They are no more important than people around just because they share a few genes in my opinion. Crap people who are nasty are not to be mixed with. Well, do not get me wrong, you have to try, but after a while, well, sorry, I have given enough and done enough. I am now closer to some friends than I am from my crap bro.

    • Ceunei

      Nope. The family I pretended loved me for my entire life is now on their own. The pretended I did exist for the last time. Blood is not thicker than water.

    • MattNLindz Stuntz

      I don’t want to be one of those people randomly commenting on someone’s post with disrespectful and hurtful things but I have to ask, why? Why can’t you abandon them if you’ve made an effort to commune with perpetrators and help them see your point of view and they are not supportive or refuse to keep negativity to themselves.
      Free ur mind and ur butt will follow.
      Remove negativity and u are left with a blank slate and an opportunity to be positive.

    • WCM

      Yes you can just abandon them. (I mean assuming you are not there legal guardian)
      That does not mean you should. But it does not mean you should not.

      Some time you just have to know when to cut your loses.

      Some times people are bad but not Toxic. If some one is “Toxic” They are literally poising you with there presence. And screwing up there own life it there business, screwing up your is not.

    • oh yes you can abandon them. cut the cord. snip snip.

    • My parents grew up too poor to even pay for my sisters college; so friends did it; now, same would be for me perhaps, although since May I’ve lived on my own in an apartment but for several months have been without a staff; that’s fine, but I don’t understand how SSI is going about it and I know I’m having one soon — they don’t seem to be unhappy and it’s for, again: SSI and I think it’s been some 4 months now!! My medicines never worked for me except for maybe 5 in my whole lifetime now, and am on but 3 of those, have otherwise made me both Human and human, lol. Not now and not compared to anyone else ever. Except my Tegretols make me hot in temperatures over 73 degrees. Try telling that to my Clinical Nurse Specialist in Psychiatry at least so I can stay on a low dose and just go out of her room for a mere 3 minutes, instead of laying on my back on her floor. — A dry hot — one you can’t rid

    • “Yeah true, but are my parents going to go to Walmart, some 1.5 miles from their home I think and buy $2 worth of Zinc or even some good ‘greens?? (my dad has diverticulitis)’ — no; hardly; rather off he seems to forget when to take them or what he bought them for; he has but 1 ‘meal’ a day anyway, so: I can’t say anything. Both my parents are only 64 and 65. Dad is the 65 year old one and as a typical Libra, he not only can’t feel therapy in and of the world and his ‘girls’ but he’s exactly the kind of person that if he has said cosmoses of lies, he was sick and has almost no memory. — Yep. He can have said to me something 100% important of parents 1 moment, I’ll excitedly say: what did you say dad — even if it’s over the phone or with words like ‘the only thing I need you to do in life for me, is’ — ‘so what? He doesn’t remember.’ Never mind the fact that carrots are 2/3 sugars anyway; seem the worst when with wheat in all my experiences when it comes to good health

    • Jane Doe

      Apparently I am the toxic for my family but I am a young adult already so the best option is to leave rather than take them down with you. Then wait for a time when I have changed before coming back to them but never the same way. Ever again. Thanks for sharing though. You have a good heart.

  • Michelle

    I work night shift, there are only a handful of us who work together every night in a nursing home. My residents have helped open my eyes to things in life I wouldn’t have always appreciated. However, there is one co-worker who insists on complaining all night, every night. She is starting to make work miserable for me and many others. I just wish I didn’t have to spend so much time around her. She is older and says us young “kids” can handle work loads better but are lazy, yet she doesn’t do anything but complain. Of all places, she works in a nursing home, you think she would understand that all these petty things she worries about are nothing compared to the big picture. I need to print this and post at work, maybe she will get the hint.

    • Alden Tan

      Perhaps so!

      There’s probably something deeper that’s bothering her. Perhaps you guys should talk to her?

      I understand that the negative energy from her can be overwhelming. I tend to block such people out. I don’t bother taking anything they say seriously.

    • Catherine Tapner

      I used to say “if it isn’t life threatening don’t worry about it” I can’t remeber the name of the author but it came from the book “how to talk so kids will listen” I still try to tell myself this, but find that if I don’t deal with something right away, it will jump up and bite me in the … later. As an older gal I find I get crabby and complain a lot when I am tired and stressed, too much going on, and this happens alot with people between the age of 40 and 60. Sandwhich generation, worrying about kids, jobs, and often looking after one or both parents. My mother has Alzheimers, I get crabby sometimes and I dont have many people to talk to about it. People sure dont want to hear me complain. It sounds like she does not have an outlet to vent, and she is stressed. I sometimes forget I was a “kid” once too, and was so called lazy. So I say things like that to my kids lol. Anyway, maybe you could all pitch in on her birthday or something and give her a day at the spa. Tell her you thought since she appeared a “little stressed” she could use a day at the spa.

    • Sandy Covey

      Posting it would be passive aggressive. It would be better to be honest with her, but in a loving manner. Let her know you are concerned that she seems unhappy or maybe depressed, and that her attitude comes across as negative and affects your mood. She probably has no idea anybody listens to her. You could tell her how others’ words affect you.

  • Kateu

    terrible advice. lol some of this stuff just doesn’t make sense to someone trying to attain high goals.. like age. I’m a 28 year old premed student who works full time to put myself through school. I have 2 years left before graduate work. Med school would take me 6-8 years to complete. My “dream” would be to be a doctor but I will probably have to settle for a physician assistant (2 years) because I would also like to start a family eventually. please explain how i can disregard age as a factor? anyone that can do simple math can figure out that age is very real, at least for women who would like to be married and have children someday. and “the past does not exist, neither does the future”? both do and they matter. the past is what makes you who you are, rather than forget it, embrace it. and the future surely matters, unless you are a hippie with zero expectations whose only goal is to run naked and barefoot in the forest lol

    • Samantha Albert

      i don’t think you’re fully conceptualizing the advice in this article. i can understand where you’re coming from but you aren’t grasping what space/time/reality is being referred to here. to be present and in the here and now instead of feeling depressed about the past or anxious about the future, you can fully appreciate the moment you are living NOW. if you REALLY sit and contemplate time, it will come to you. if you are thinking about five minutes from now, right now, that is how you’re living this moment (thinking about another moment). and the past does not define who you are. you can buy a ticket to japan, change your name and be whomever you want to be and no one would be the wiser. you may have patterns that you have developed over time that might ‘define’ you but you can break them…i believe this is referred to as enlightenment. 🙂 And regarding age, it’s more about not letting the pressure of society tell you what you should be and or how you should act at any given age…if you want to procreate, the of course you should plan accordingly, but in this specific article, I feel like it’s trying to convey a sense that you should live according to your own personal timeline. and if you’re only goal is to run around naked in the forest, we should be happy that person is choosing to live a life that makes them happy and does not hurt others.

      • Kateu

        I understand what the article is trying to say but just as SM said, it was poorly articulated. A lot of the points are explained in a way that is just not realistic. Time is my worst enemy and I must plan accordingly and if I don’t spend my now thinking about my future, things would not work out in a way for me to be “happy”. There is a healthy amount of fear, social standards, care for what others think, and understanding of where you’ve been and where you are going needed in order to live a successful and happy life for many people. My idea of a happy life is one in which I have a family, can travel, help others, and support my family and parents when they age. Happiness sometimes requires sacrifices and hard work, not just forgetting about all the social standards and just “doing what you want” regardless of what others think.

        • Michael Kurtz

          I understand where you’re coming from. But my whole family is gone. I could be happy just running off and joining the circus. Different people have different lives and standards of happiness. One thing that will make me happy is not to try to negate someone’s ideas if it’s right for them. So I’ll stop. Good points though.

        • Ck

          Dear friend,
          Being too realistic is the root of all our other branched problems.
          I did ventured all these factors in the past few yrs, they all sound pretty unrealistix and more like sugar coated advices, but you dont have to take it all at once.
          Try one by one, feel the intrinsic power of not giving shit about some things then proceed to another.
          It will change the way you view the world and yourself

        • Patrick

          Well, sadly, this is what makes society work; social-coercion, group-think, or hive-mind. Society is a bit like a bee-hive. A lot of “happy” people are also people who understand this. They know, you only see things a certain way, because you were socially conditioned to see things this way. “Hippie”, is just a pejorative, to stigmatize a type of lifestyle that a society centred around increasing capital; it has to maintain that status-quo, so, of course, a hippie lifestyle can’t be viewed as equally valid. But It’s a farce. A lot of “happy” also happen to have very high-IQ. A lot of genius’s have a disregard for social-norms, for example.

          You look at the people who historically had hippie values; you’d be shocked; almost every intellectual historically: Epicurus, Tolkien, Plato, Pythagoras, Confucius, Ghandi, Jesus, Da Vinci. These people didn’t get two sense about money.

          • Karen Califano

            I agree with you and am a self professed, intelligent, unconventional, very happy, not wealthy mid 50’s hippie!

        • anonymous

          Then you are a poor premed student if you haven’t already realized that physical aging is EVERYONE’S worst enemy. Everyone is born to die. It’s what you do with the short existence that truly matters.

          • Peter Bodenham

            Death is the reward at the end of life. You do all the hard work whilst living, then you get a nice big rest!

        • meeshee

          Your idea of a happy life is sad to me…I only say that because it sounds like when you have those things that you idealize (family, travel etc) that is when you will have happiness, or that that is your perception of what a happy life is. You can have happiness right now. You don’t have to wait to be happy. You can help others right now. You can support your parents with things that are more meaning than anything money could buy. If you feel time is your worst enemy, you should spend that time wisely being happy right now. What if you don’t live to be around when your parents age etc. I am not saying you should not have a “plan”. I would use the word “goal”. A plan is more like having insurance just incase something happens. A goal to me is following your hearts desire and having passion that drives you to push your self without limiting yourself….and nothing is being sacrificed when you are happy right now and through what you call “hard work” to follow out your “plan”, I say “goal”. I want you to know I am replying to your post because my heart desires you to be happy.
          Peace, Love, Happiness, and Kindness,

          • Guest

            Well aren’t you a condescending piece of shit. Shut the fuck up. Other people’s happiness is not based on how you think they should live. I pity people like you.

          • Guest

            OMG go take a nap cause your unhappiness is palpable. Its called in opinion.

          • fishswim7 is an asshole.

            Well aren’t you a condescending piece of shit. Other people’s happiness is not based on how you think they should live. I pity people like you.

          • meeshee

            I am sorry you can not reply as an adult without speaking so disrespectful. I will not reply to you anymore as I see it is not worth my time to offer my thoughts. Others thoughts or perspectives are extremely valuable, as it is hard to view your own life, through your own eyes, and see what others can see so clearly. I do not know anything about you, except what you posted. My reply was from my heart. I wish you the best life has to offer.

        • meeshee

          What if you got into an accident, and became paralyzed…..what if after falling in love and marriage the attempts to start a family are not successful and you never bear children…shall you not be happy?
          I do not agree with your perspective on “just doing what you want”…or maybe I do not understand it. To me I am so happy doing what I want. I am a nurse. When I got accepted to nursing school (age 36) I was pregnant, with twins. I am now an RN. Nursing school was not easy but it was enjoyable because what I was learning I was fascinated with. Happiness is everywhere in my life. When I am in traffic on the freeway, I get to see and enjoy even more things…the mountains around in the valley I live in ahead of me on the road beyond the traffic…when I wait for my older child (have 3 kids) at that bus stop, I feel the sun beating on my face and the warmth….at night it excites me to look up into the sky and see the moon…be happy now…what if your PLAN doesn’t work out they way you planned it..get what I am saying.

          • Peter Bodenham

            Well, perhaps people should plan that their main plan may not just work out.

          • jx64

            doing what you want at the present time. what you want now might not be what you want later on, but you don’t know that, and do it anyway

        • karley

          Hey! i am karley i love ur article 🙂 that u just wrote kateu this is karley am a freshmen in college & just wanted 2 let u know that I am the kind of person that likes 2 plan out my future I believe that there is a passed & futute I useually like 2 just hang-out at home, relax, watch movies, listen 2 pop & rock music, art, fashion, & travel traveling is my passion & I am thinking abt maybe becuzz a travel agent 🙂 sense I like 2 plan things & I love2 travel soo much with my grndma most of the time or 1 of my closes best friends I don’t have very many friends only 2 remain friends mostly

          • karley

            I barely have any friends as it his becuzz people arnt very sooo nice 2 me know matter how they try 2 its eather they r nice people 2 me otherwise they arnt really nice people in general I am also a very hard working & really care abt my education in school its very important 2 me & is my 1st priorite 🙂 its best 4 the future the hard works pays off when u work really hard

        • Captain

          Think about it this way;
          Just because YOU don’t UNDERSTAND & grasp something; like THIS ARTICLE;
          DOESNT ACTUALLY MEAN ITS poorly articulated. Maybe it’s just YOU. Let go & stop trying so damn hard. SOME of us, CAN grasp concepts you will never ‘get’.
          You best stop schooling & start EXPERIENCING LIFE. Your clearly missing the point. And very – very unhappy!

      • lexmil

        Exactly. There is really no such thing as being happy in this world. The article above simply asks you to abandon everything that defines what it means to be a responsible productive member of society. But yes, you could be happy alright if you live the life of a naked hermit in the bundocks, with no cares whatsoever. The hell with your family, your work, your community, your government, your religion. your standards of morality, etc. No cares = no worries = being happy.

        • Patti Reis

          The funny thing is, those of us who have embraced some of the ideas here truly are happy. And it seems so simple to us we tend to forget how scary it is for some people. It’s not that we don’t care about anything at all. Far from it. It’s just that we’ve realized that no matter what we do, there will always be some people who choose to judge us. And we choose to ignore the judgement and the negativity. In doing so, we are able to focus on the things and the people in our lives who are equally happy – and all of us ARE contributing members of society, perhaps even more so than those who choose to tow the line they’ve been told they’re supposed to. You keep yourself unhappy when you refuse to question the standards that have been set by others (even if you’re not living up to them and most likely never will) and set your own standards instead.

        • Pat

          What’s valuable about being a “productive member of society”, if it doesn’t make you happy. What if the society isn’t good. In the developed world, the old “we’re in this together”, idea no longer applies. You’re a free-man, why constrain yourself to societies idea of “a productivity member of society.” You are living solely to gain others approval, which raises the question, who then are you?

        • ur a sheep

          sheep bah bah bah

    • SM

      I could not agree with you more. I am not aiming to be a doctor, but i am working to be a professor. The topics of jobs, fears, and the majority of the article was not well though out. We, or I, am obligated to social cirumanstances to have my “dream job”. Plus, no one forgets their pat. “the past and future do not exists” is just a shame on humanity. The past is was makes us human people. I am grasping the article and all i have to say is that is was poorly articulated. There are great ideas, but it is narrowed to a certain group. Why can I not want to work for my “dream job” and then have a family (age) and then deny my past (which is what ultimately brought me to what i love) and then fear nothing. Come on you guys

      • Sheela

        Happiness is a journey, not a destination. It’s not when you reach a goal that you’ll be happy. That “happiness” fades out. It’s all about being happy now.

        • verns

          i think this summarizes everything, people, just get what positive you understand from the article. Majority of what it says is brilliant! 🙂 Dearest Author ~ Thank you for sharing your happiness!

    • Zaphod

      The advice may not apply to you but it does apply to 95% of people who are hopelessly searching for fulfillment via validation from others and the relentless pursuit of money. I believe the path you have taken is a noble one in which you will gain satisfaction and eventual happiness through hard work and diligence. be thankful because not everyone has the good fortune, support or mental capacity to reach for a goal such as yours. The point is your maximum point of power is now, if you spend your time fretting, letting fears of the future and anxiety’s of the past weigh down on you you’re effectively enjoying your young life much less than what you could be.

      You sound a little patronizing, like you’re trying to validate your choices and trump other peoples.
      It’s a bit offensive to suggest that anyone carefree is some sort of bare foot ‘hippie’ running through the wilderness. I have a completed bachelors degree that I chose not to use because I wasn’t passionate about it in the end. I’ve disappointed people, but I’m a happy person, content with my decisions and making life my own. Walking it naturally like art instead of clockwork. You’re attaching so much expectation to life’s outcomes when it could all crumble around you tomorrow.

      • Em Lu Pin

        Some very good points! Too many people have aims involving careers, that will not necessarily result in happiness and become too obsessed with them being a mark of success. I don’t however agree with the article suggesting you should leave work ‘at the office’ as it always adds to happiness if you love your work too and it part of your passion (and especially if it is not in an office!) but this could be simply working outside in gardens or being a postman.. I suppose it is about balance. A good question would be if you did not need to earn money, would you still like to work in your field. If the answer is YES, (but maybe not everyday) then that is a good sign

        • meeshee

          Love what you say here. I am a nurse and I love what I do. The good feelings I get at the end of the day are the reason I do what I do, the actual wage I earn is a small bonus (no matter what that figure is).

      • Marie

        Good job! You went in and did what I was suppose to say to her. You said it better!

        • Temalo

          the other thing I believe that was missed is the idea of ‘blocking it out’. I do not think that a part of being happy is blocking anything out. It is about accepting the things that come towards us without giving them much of a value judgement.

    • iwillarguewithwhateveryousay

      The oldest in my med school class is 39. 1/5 the class has childen…

    • roco batungbakal

      What this article is trying to point out is to live for today and make the most out of it. No regrets and hate that are holding you back, events which happened in the past, learn to forgive and forget. No worries of the future which make you anxious, and rob you of happiness. But live for today and be happy in everything your hand findeth to do. Play the cards you are dealt with,

      • roco batungbakal

        Conforming to societies standards, for me It doesn’t mean you live immorally but you live responsively, just don’t be dictated by societies norm of happiness which often is materialistic, do what you have to do, what you feel is right for you to do to achieve your goals, even if it is against socities norm, for example if it take until 40 years old to have a family then so be it, it may not be ideal but who cares.

    • Michael Kurtz

      The point is most likely not to let the past or age make you unhappy. It should not rob you of who you want to be. If you want children then I suppose you could finish school later or have kids shortly before your bio clock runs out. Or just be happy with your choices. You can’t change the past or be unhappy just to win a future. Some poeple say they will be happy tomorrow. Then tomorrow never comes.

    • Patti Reis

      See that’s exactly the point. You seem to have this invisible timeline in your head whereby you *have* to do things by a certain age – and be done a certain way. I know many women who’ve completed degrees AFTER they had kids and gone on to very successful careers. Age is real, yes, and sure at some point our bodies will say, okay, the time for kids is past…but the other stuff doesn’t have to follow some pre-conceived path. Just because most people become doctors at a younger age doesn’t mean it’s the ONLY way to go. Time to get some perspective. BTW…I’m 42 and have only a bachelor’s. My kids are 4 and 9 so you can do the math on when I had them. I’m planning on going back for a teaching credential and Master’s degree when my youngest starts kindergarten. I know lots of teachers who started teaching in their 40s and 50s, and even 60s! Why put artificial expiration dates on your life?

    • Picnicl .

      That’s still an expectation that hippy has. And they must be somewhat brave given many people’s attitudes – whether it be disdain or stupid amusement. If they live a far more healthy than most people they also make your job less necessary – to them at least!

    • Spiraldive

      Take up paragliding, skydiving, or mountaineering, (or insert outdoor activity here) find where your passion lies & it will change the way at which you look at life. Then when you get to my age you will realise that there is much more to life than exams & work.

    • anonymous

      The article is stating to not get wrapped up in age. Some people get depressed with each passing birthday because they are getting older. If you disregard THAT portion of it and enjoy what you do with those passing years…age will not be something that brings you done or kills your happiness.

    • Karen Califano

      Well, I get what you’re saying about your biological clock, however, there are also sacrifices one may have to make in life to achieve certain goals. I think what he meant not dwelling on the past is not to harbor negative, painful things that may have happened in a person’s life that may be getting in the way of moving forward in a positive light. As far as the future, well, no one really can control what’s going to happen in the long run. Goals are important, but never lose sight of the fact that life is short, try and lighten up a bit & sMell the roses.

    • Captain

      So…..Your saying; you can not work toward all your goals at ONCE? Many, MANY HAPPY people have done what you say is “impossible” AND MORE!! Yeah – you wouldn’t make a good doctor anyway. If Med School, with RIGHT & WRONG ANSWERS & text books telling you WHAT to do – maybe invest in PARENTING CLASSES NOW.
      It’s a FAR greater responsibility & MUCH HARDER to parent & raise children then Med School!! You sound very negative, toxic & narcissist. Irrational even – BLAMING AN ARTICLE for your lack of success?
      Wait until you debate ‘age is just a number’ with your 15 year old child one day – THEN – REREAD THIS & let me know what you think!

      • Peter Bodenham

        Actually, being a parent is pretty easy if you actually raise your child right in the first place.

    • enlguy

      Why can’t you be married in med school? Why can’t you have a family then? You aren’t really thinking very openly, and you seem to say that because med school takes a while, you shouldn’t bother, which is just silly.

    • FDP

      All medical schools have a 4 year curriculum. But you need a B.S. or B.A. to get into med school. It is the same at all of the approximately 125 medical schools in the U.S. Physician assistant programs are different programs. Good luck. There is much truth in the points mentioned in this article although you will not realize it until later in your life, The truths behind these statements are valid regardless of your chosen career path.

    • C L

      Kateu, I’m sorry that so many “Happy People” who have “No Ragrets” (Yes, I misspelled it on purpose!) have chosen to bash you in and hurl their stones on you, figuratively. So long as they’re happy and do what they want and not give a damn about what they say or the consequences of it, it’s okay to them. I’m sure that many lay in their wake of only making sure that they are happy. Don’t let yourself be one of their casualties. You just keep marching on and ignore these happy fools.

  • Sika Thiagu

    Love the wordings and it is so true especially the part where we need to check the people around us in order to stay positive and happy.

    • Alden Tan

      Thanks Sika!

  • sternocreed

    Some nice concepts along with a number of cliches. Block it out? That’s the definition of heart attack, of the damming of rivers. Toning down expectations? Beautiful.

    • Alden Tan


  • Lauren N

    Definitely doing what I want, when I want. I do not like to feel restricted by my “JOB”.

    • Alden Tan

      Yep. You aren’t your job. Remember that.

  • Cornell

    No.10 is great b/c I love beating people with sticks and stuff , I agree, screw what society thinks, just do what we want! Hell yeah!!!!

    • Alden Tan


  • Chloé J. Adrian

    I feel happy when I complete things I have wanted to do for a long while.

  • Jeff

    Being outdoors, Snow, Surf, Bikes

  • Andrew Steyn

    My Family. Everything I have. Everything I don’t have. Everything I am doing, Everything I have done. Everything I will do. The ability to do anything I want, when I want, with who I want. It is all a matter of Alignment. Thank you for this amazing life. Thank you for this post. Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you!

  • Andrew Birch

    Excellent advice. I love number 3. I’m NOT my job. My job is a means to an end, providing the means for me to pursue my goals and passions

  • Michael Cawthra

    Sitting here listening to Beethoven’s 9th Symphony, “Ode to Joy.” How happy is that?

  • Luz Divina

    I agree. I consider my self one of those happy people. Meditation on Twin Hearts, Pranic Healing, Arhatic yoga and meaningful relationships make me happy.

  • Devon C.

    All true, now I know why I’m so happy!

  • StinkChair

    This seems incredibly naive. I dare you to say any of this to the homeless. Or a single mother. Or victims of hate crimes. Or the marginalized. Would you tell a victim of rape that her unhappiness is due to complaining? This article speaks of privilege only and is advice for the rich (and white?), a group of people who need better advice than simple optimistic thinking. This is the problem with privilege, it is selfish. It lacks empathy. Unhappiness can be the result of a cruel and unjust world. It can be the result of unadulterated capitalism. Someone must suffer so you guys can be happy and it is shameful. Happiness and unhappiness are two sides of the same coin. They work together and to deny one exists is a denial of the self. Instead, why not embrace sadness and useit to grow and evolve.

    • roco batungbakal

      Many bad things happen to us, we may want justice, but there is nothing good will come if we dwell on bitterness. Instead learn to forgive and face the challenge of survival, and be happy in the process.

      • meeshee

        I am a victim of abuse. I want to tell you a little bit about myself because I am living proof and a happy person despite being abused.

        My mother never loved me. I was the ugly duckling. Mymother would call me such hurtful names.
        She would call me “fat fu-ck”.
        She had told me many times “you should of been born dead”. I have 2 beautiful thin sisters. I was verbally abused by my mother. I now have children of my own, and for those who are afraid to have children because they think they will hurt their own children as their moms have hurt them…don’t be afraid. My mother hurt me so deeply that I would NEVER want to cause anyone that same pain, let alone my own children. People say that I broke the cycle of abuse. I say that I turned my pain into power that I used to find love for myself and to always give love. I now look back at my childhood and realize something terribly was wrong in my mothers life to have treated me that way and I feel so sorry for. I forgive her. I have a deep love for her. Giving love to her, and giving love to others is more important than receiving it. I wonder what her childhood was like and where she learned this from. I was robbed of my self-esteem and self-worth. I was afraid of people and kept to myself. When I was teased at school for being overweight, it was just to me a validation of the things my mom was telling me at home. I spent over 20 years of my adult
        life in counseling. I had always believed that I was a flawed individual.
        No one should ever have the power to dictate someone else’s self worth. SELF esteem is just that. It is not called mom-esteem. It is too bad that mom will never see past my outwardly appearance to ever even know the amazing person I am on the inside. I am a more compassionate, kind,
        and loving person because of the abuse I endured. I am still an overweight person as I was as a child, but I love myself more today, as I am, than every before. I had lost 80 pounds and had surgery because I wanted to please my mom. She never once told me anything when I lost the weight. I have come to terms with my childhood, and have moved on to please myself and give myself the love I never had as a child. I have learned to not expect anything from my
        mom. Without hoping one day she will change, and maybe say I love you etc,, I am protecting myself from further hurt and pain. To all those that have been abused in any type of abusive situation, turn that pain into power to be someone who can offer hope, love, and help to others. Words are so amazingly powerful. My mother taught me how bad words could wound someone…and it made me think…in the complete opposite direction.
        If words can be that powerful, and I instilled positive words into my life, could the positive words have the same amount of power? And the answer to that is YES!! I wish everyone peace, love, and kindness. I hope my mother can one day fully love herself and realize that happiness lies within our selves.
        My point here is…happiness is possible in a cruel world. You do not have to participate in the cruelty, and that will bring you great joy… I think you could agree that in my childhood in my world (the environment, my home) was cruel and unjust. I was a child and just learning and all I knew existed of the world was what my mom showed to me. As I got older, i figured out that i have control of my happiness..i choose the world i live in. I am in love with life and blessed that i am alive right now. i do not know if tomorrow will come, but i know that if it does not, that does not matter, as whether i live to be 100, or only until i was lucky to have found the joy in life before my time here is no more.

    • centromere

      Happiness is not a zero sum game. And if you think that what we have today is “unadulterated capitalism”, you haven’t been paying attention.

    • patrick

      Homeless people are not all unhappy; those who are aren’t unhappy as a result of homelessness, but status-diminution. Lots of ascetes and monks voluntarily became and continue to become homeless and are happy. Google for instance “Yogis” in India who wander around, meditate outside, have no home, and don’t participate in society; some don’t even talk, but these people are well-respected because they’re seen as wise; they’re status is increased, but they are homeless, by our definition, if not worse off. Everything is perception. How others perceive you changes how you perceive yourself, but only if you let it.

    • patrick

      All causality ends with the individual. Nothing can cause you to be unhappy; you cause it, by the way you interpret it.

    • WalterWhite

      Wow, StinkChair, your comment is wrong on so many levels! Please answer this, what makes you assume that every single mother is unhappy? Yes, it may be hard paying for the bills, providing food for them and working full time while still trying to take them to a dentist appointment. But how do those, or any other circumstances, stop a person from being happy? Just because a single mom has a more “stressful life” (as you would say it is) does not make them unhappy. Same with homeless people and victims of hate crime. I encourage you to start conversations with some homeless and have a conversation with them. Not all of them are unhappy. Yes, they are probably unhappy about their situation, but not all of them are unhappy at that moment. And not all of them give up.

    • Pat

      Homelessness is a bit of a buzz-word. What is it really. It’s not being surrounded by dry wall. Homeless people aren’t unhappy because they’re homeless, but because society gives them the impression that they should be unhappy. We feel how we think we’re supposed to feel. We’re taught homelessness is abject, and it has social-stigma attached to it. People have lived in caves, tents, Igloos, mud-huts, and all sorts of places commensurable to how a homeless person might live.

    • Peter Bodenham

      Its not my fault that someone is homeless or dying. I look after myself and my family, that is enough. I work, I am happy because I have done things for myself. Its the way of life, you need to get over it.

    • The article is not so much about why you are unhappy, some people are sad because they’re sat in their Lamborghini 2010 edition, feeling poor because they don’t have the 2016 edition, others are sad from years of abuse, misfortune, bad luck, bad people etc. That’s the point though, it doesn’t matter where your unhappiness comes from, you can still start applying some of these points in the article to your life in an effort to increasing your happiness. Some points in the article will work better for some than others, depending on the root of your unhappiness. The writer (any writer) can’t possibly write for every person, age, race, economic position, education level but anyone can apply these points and see which ones work for them and which don’t.

  • borderlunatic

    True and true! Found a kindred spirit. Hoorah!

  • wow. i hope this will be a description for myself.

  • Dianne

    Material possessions/money should be on this list.

    • ji8464

      They will not make you happy

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  • ShadowJay

    Please. I care about 2, 3, 5, 7 and 10 and I’d say I’m pretty happy with my life… IMO i think if you abandon the people around you for your own happiness, well, it’s a kind of selfishness too, isn’t it?
    Why can’t you just live off the happiness of others instead? I do that sometimes, and in my experience, ushering out the joy from “toxic” people can actually be quite euphoric. And the joy of the masses can sometimes be overwhelming. All you have to do is be your own antidote, and heal the damaged.
    I guess that’s me looking on the more positive side of the world, but in this perspective, doesn’t that mean that everyone commenting on this are looking on the negative side of the world too?

  • Cliff TruthWolf Bradley

    My Lord + Savior as well as my innate ability to fight for my humility. I love everyone and it feels good to know I can hold onto that feeling regardless of the dirt tossed my way….

  • Leefe Macabangun Palao

    Happiness is seeing my loved ones achieve their dreams and get what they want. Happiness is knowing that you have inspired others through your struggles and motivated them to face their own battles. Happiness is making others realize that all things, people and events that comes into their life are God’s plans. Happiness is feeling secured knowing your imperfections and admitting your flaws and knowing nobody is perfect.

  • huaiwei

    I suppose I must belong to the increasingly extinct species who believes that my happiness should be sacrificed for others. And for that reason, while some pointers here are important reminders of positive thinking, the rest are largely irrelevant to me. In fact, I often wish that if more people may learn to realise the world is not just about what they think about themselves or the world, what they want to do regardless of what society needs, or what they say regardless of how others perceive their words, the world might indeed be a happier place overall.

  • ggand4

    What makes me really happy is my personal & intimate relationship with my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ… this is not religion, but just a relationship with GOD, the Creator of the universe… nothing more, nothing less, & nothing else… believe me, I’ve been through life, a lot & HE’s the only way 🙂

    • Allen

      Yet your relationship looks a lot like all he the rules and regulations that the Bible lays out. Religion just means following what those things in the book says. You call it a relationship if that helps you sleep at night or in your mind make you seem different from those other Christians you feel you aren’t like but you are doing the exact same thing they are doing. Your realtionship is basically a synonym of religion.

      • ggand4

        Allen… I am so sad to hear about what you think of my intimate & personal relationship with Jesus. You don’t even have a slight cue of my experience & yet when you talk, as if you know everything HAHAHA… I aologized that I laughed at your kind of thinking, My relationship with Jesus has nothing to do with RELIGION… & you’re right, religion is just following more rules. I have been FORGIVEN because I believe I was born a SINNER & I cannot save my own self from my sins & that’s what I needed a SAVIOR in the Name of Jesus Christ. I am save by GRACE (unmerited favor) & it has nothing to do with what I can do or do, to be save. Now, if I may ask you… what makes you happy Allen? Really from your heart… what makes you happy? 😀

        • Allen

          Religion-a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and
          purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a
          superhuman agency or agencies….

          • ggand4

            You did NOT answer my question… what makes you happy Allen? Really from your heart… what makes you happy? 😀

          • Allen

            i have already answered that question. I dont ask for a lot im pretty happy person with everything in my life . I was even happier person until Christians tried their best to hate everyone and everything. If you guys would stop being arrogant pricks always in everyone else business started worrying about how to improve yourself then the world would be a better place. But you are to busy hating gay people because you have miserable lives trying to mask it with Jesus. If your lives were so great gay people wouldn’t be a worry to you.Stop being assholes and everything would great. stop using your control to oppress people. I would think you would have stopped at blacks or women but you keep doing this shit over and over….

          • ggand4

            Really? You are happy from the bottom of your heart? HAHAHA… And what made you think that I hate the gay community? You are judging me already… I can feel you’re the one who hates Christians, & I can sense you are not a happy person… I am sorry for saying this & I feel sad for you. You have a great weekend Allen 🙁

          • Poly Styrene

            I guess happy people agree with all of this just for the sake of being agreeable and because they all feel the need to CONFORM and to do and feel what everyone else feels. Everyones lives are unique and different and we all have different expectations, me, you and all humans. This is purse hogwash and that is all it is. This is just like telling people, here is the secret to lifelong happiness. Ive been happy my entire life and thats just how I am. Keep your OPINONS to yourself whoever made this because that is all this entire RANT is, just mere opinions and nothing more. It was a good laugh though, esp. for all of you trendy, normal wankers out there that feel that all of those things posted by the OP are so true.

        • Allen

          Oh an BTW i would love if your relationship or religion or Christianity or whatever you want to call it today would learn how to stop imposing your bullshit in our government and stop trying to rule the lives of others. Not everyone thinks you religion is a good thing. So practice your bullshit in the church ,at home, or roll on the floor and speak in tongues if that makes you happy but stop trying to control the lives of everyone else. What makes me happy is when religious people stop trying to impose their bullshit in a secular government and practice their own religion and let other practice theirs. Stop trying to control gay people, woman, atheist . That is what makes me happy….

  • Ann Cognito

    Unhappy people. They are something I don’t care for.
    In most instances, long term unhappiness is a choice.

  • Cctoo

    People who don’t complain

  • Candice Catherine Romano

    Everyone has a choice. EVERYONE!! No matter what has happened to them, they have a choice. No matter what their schedule is, they chose it if they are still working it. People choose what they ALLOW to affect them and for how long. They choose to do or not do what it takes to get help and move on after a terrible situation. They choose to not accept the RIGHT KIND of help or seek it out, in order to get out of bad working, living or domestic situations That is just fact. We live among major abundance! There is an abundance of resources. Even people who can’t read, speak, hear, see or walk have methods available to them to increase their quality of life. There is always a way. People offer help to those in need who don’t want it and that is their CHOICE, not their unfortunate circumstance. People play the victim way to often and everything they don’t have or the things that they claim “happen to them all the time” are all results of choices they made to either do something or not do something. There are 168 hours in a week and if you sleep 7 hours a night that’s still 120 hours in the week left and if you work a 40 hour week that still leaves you 80 whole hours a week of time!!! and even if you work a 60 hour week, you still have 60 HOURS left a week!! If you spend a whopping 30 of those hours a week with your family, that’s still 30-50 more hours in the entire week you have left to create more happiness for your life, to make things better, to study, to hang out, to pick a hobby, whatever…. so there are no acceptable excuses, not even for people who have crazy busy schedules because even time is in abundance to us. People want things HANDED to them and that’s the problem. Extra time isn’t used properly in order to make REAL LIVING happen, which is what everybody claims they want. Well so then, just do it!! THAT is what happy people do. THEY MAKE things happen because they CHOOSE it. It’s really that simple.

    • octopusjosh

      While I agree that this article provides some good advice, I think it is a little naive and somewhat dangerous because it encourages beliefs as stated in your comment. Generally, yes, happiness is a choice – I think positive thought and action can change a great deal of miserable situations that people can choose to step out of. However, the idea that everyone plays the victim and all of it is a choice sets a precedence to encourage intolerance, misunderstanding and discrimination towards people with mental health problems. There is a vast amount of criticism and scorn towards those with MH diagnoses, many of which are treatment resistant, or replaced with medication-related issues (anti-psychiatry has a lot of valid points).

      For example, in my own experience, I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, with identity alteration, which has been under discussion in consideration for dissociative identity disorder (they cannot be co-morbid diagnoses). I experience spiritual phenomena as auditory, visual and tactile hallucinations and visions, along with entity possession, as well as mental blackouts during which I become a five year old child and a teenage girl who self harms. I have no control over these events and medication has only ever made me physically ill and incapacitated, without reducing these experiences. Generally, I exist in a state of anhedonia. Tell me then, what do I choose to do differently to change my situation?

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  • Arty Abe

    The 7 Point about Past and Future gota so cool Buddhist vibe…aswell as the other points! Very cool read thanks!

  • Paul

    Now drink the kool aid. Want a different life WORK at it. Your friends should not have influence in your life decisions. Even if they are successful and seem happy, they may be ideots and don’t know any better. Age, you only get so many hart beats on this big spinning turd that use to be earth. So get busy WORKING hard so maybe you can have some fun as you get older, the travel and buy crap you don’t need stage of life. But put away for retirement, or instead of a condo where it is warm, you get a piss stink filthy nursing home and learn about bed sores. I think the writer of this piece spent 10 years after failing out of college bald and ringing bells at the airport. HAVE A NICE DAY (ringey dingey)

  • Adam Mannion

    What a load of 21st century, hedonistic , ignorant shite! Really hate number 6! just dont think about the negative things in this world and live in a bubble!? great advice …

  • JunWasHere

    Worst list ever.

    You’re basically playing the “bread and circuses” tune. These aren’t “happy people”, this is the description of the ignorant who have failed to acknowledge the principles of living in a society.

    Living together means caring about many of these things and wanting to actively help improve things.
    “Ignorance is bliss” and what you have described here is what people get when they turn a blind eye to the world in ignorance.

  • Diane Rittinger

    Diane Rittinger: Great read Mr. Tan. Also like your comment to Darius below – people need to make their own mistakes to realize where to go in life – to be happy.

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  • danger0517

    Happiness is the byproduct of doing the right thing – for others! It comes from a life of service.

  • Rowe Lee

    Wow… Just dump toxic people just like that. Awfully selfish of you. Thing is, some of these “toxic” people just happened to get a bad deal despite their best of intentions. Life just happened to cause them much sorrow and misery. Unlike you who has an endless supply of happy juice, these “toxic” people weren’t as fortunate. Well, start hoping that you’d be spared from any trauma that these “toxic” people went through. Because you won’t be getting any help if people would heed your bad advice. You’re being a parasite living off of other people’s happiness. You’re no different from those phoney fair weather fakers who make good friends when times are good and disappear when times are awful. I’d rather be alone in the best of times than have friends like you.

  • Derek

    This is nonsense, it takes no account for hormonal or neurological factors beyond the control of the mind. I don’t care about any of these things either, yet I most definitely am diagnosed with chronic clinical depression.

    • Hey @disqus_qRejkvGeiE:disqus thanks for your input. Undoubtedly these points are generic and battling depression is a completely different story that often no article/advice/medicine can help overcome. I’ve experienced a level of that in the past – Dark hellish veils that cloud the mind where the doors to the prison of the mind are open but you just can’t stand up and take the action you know is necessary – and for me it was doing the opposite of everything the depressive state was trying to make me do, mainly staying still and avoiding everyone. So I started running, literally as active exercise everytime I experienced that veil and actively exploring respected advice online aimed at depression.

      This is not that, it’s generalised advice but that has clearly helped a majority of people and that’s why we share it with the world. Something that helped me with depression though was this kind of advice, maybe you’d appreciate it too:

      Thanks for reading!

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  • Jessica Bartolome

    I have to agree, selfishness bring happiness if you are no longer able to see beyond your own needs and other’s suffering and I actually admire people who can stand to that

  • incendious

    I probably didn’t need a list to know how to be happy. Happiness is a state of mind and most of the factors that determine that state can be controlled.

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  • jonathan

    an amazing meal (i’m a cook by profession)

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  • Yehia Ashraf ElKholy

    I’ve been watching my life for sometime, especially the defining moments. I started looking at events that happened in the past, and how I thought they’ll affect my life. Then started to focus on the “supposedly” hardest moments, when things didn’t work our. I then watched the actual consequences of all those bad events and realized that those events are the best thing that could have happened to me despite that when they happened I thought they were completely the opposite. And then I concluded this for the future. When you believe the God is real, that he is in control of the everything and that he is protecting over you he actually does, I don’t say this out of superstition but out of reality and facts, when there are millions of possibilities and the best combination of possibilities keep on happening to me then there must be a God who is watching over. This realization elevates me to a status above happiness, to being at peace.

    • Allen

      yes you are favored and those starving children in Africa who believe in the same God as you who die of hunger or disease i guess deserved it. Im sure the idea of God watching over you makes you feel good but you look like an arrogant prick to me.

      • Yehia Ashraf ElKholy

        I’m trying to think why my post provoked you to the extent you decided to call me an urrogant prick…I’m sorry to provoke you to this extent…

        Everybody suffers in his own way and is also privileged in his own way…seeing a true purpose out of my suffering/blessings does not make me feel privileged it only makes me happy and at peace.

        • Allen

          Because you sound pathetic arrogant and selfish. An all powerful being ,which no one has proved thus far, takes out his time to help you get a new car or whatever it is you want yet lets a child starve to death? i guess the child wasn’t as privileged or worthy in Gods eyes as you. Would you and your God like a trophy? Do you think about how selfish the whole concept is or are you only concerned about yourself? I’m not saying you shouldn’t care about yourself at all but your statement is just utter arrogant and off. Religious people do this all the time without thinking.. For example i hear people saying God saved me from the tornado im blessed and special yet their neighbor whole family dies! I guess the neighbors didn’t kiss Gods ass enough? Seriously do you think about what you are saying at all? Same goes with folks thanking God for the work of doctors. It’s never the doctors who saved the lives it always God and when something goes wrong its the doctors fault. Just so selfish. Call me negative or mean but i’m tired of the selfish nature of religious people. You guys wrap yourselves in cloth of caring and humbleness but you are anything but…….

          • Yehia Ashraf ElKholy

            Allen…you are assuming too much about me and you’re loading your writing we perceptions from your own experience.

            I’m neither religious nor do I feel prevailed, better than any one or more loved by God than any one.

            You are re-looping around the same concept, which I swear to you understood and hope you don’t try to re-explain again…God forbid people will say you’re boring.

            Yes I understand contradictions are everywhere…there are people who live lavish lives and others who starve to death…but why blame God for the actions of humans??

            Again, the reason of my post, and the posts of all others I assume is to explain a “personal” belief of what makes you happy…That said, this is my “own personal Belief”. I’m not trying to impose it on you or any other.

            Let me restate it once more for you, I believe there is a plan for each one of us, where when bad things and good things happen, they do happen for a reason, either to teach us a lesson, to help us in our path, to deprive us from something/someone we so love to give us love where we least expect it…you name them…this plan, I believe, is not limited to this life we live, but to an afterlife where the addition of both lives will yield the ultimate justice. The child who dies starving will serve a plan in earth to show the world how materialistic and inhuman we have become…so that perhaps some good people like you…would decide to change this. The child death will also serve a plan in the afterlife, those responsible for his death, me and you partially included, will be punished for abandoning him, and he himself will be rewarded above all for a prevailed eternal life. And why the suffering in the fist place? because the purpose of our creation is the mere battle between good and evil, because it’s a test for everyone and everyone will be judged fairly for how he did in this test and this is Justice…and God is the most Just and Powerful. This is what I believe.

            On top of Justice, which is the God given right for everyone weather they believe in it or not, there is Mercy, and Love…a privilege that God offers to any one who believes in them. All I meant with my previous comments was not that I’m privileged than any one, not that I deserve God’s them , but merely that I am a seeker who has just tasted the sweetness of God’s mercy and love. This has lead me to believe that God is better than one’s good expectations…And this believe makes me feel happy and at peace.

            And this is just my own belief not imposed on anyone!

          • Allen

            After reading your comment I’m lucky that I’ve lived this long without being killed but good loving religious people. So much is wrong with you . Like mentally..So many folks like you in the world who do nothing but make it worse not better. Your reasoning of life is so off i honestly can’t even respond.By your representation of life if an innocent child gets blown to pieces that’s a good thing because it was all in Gods plan to teach people to act better. The child is just a worthless instrument . Im glad that makes you feel happy inside. And lets not be naive. Religious people have great power. Your bullshit become law that everyone has to follow. Stop pretending like you religious crap happens in a bubble….Christianity and Islam always impose shit on everyone. Kill and jail people oh but yea its all Gods plan. Sometimes i wish i wasn’t born in a time where stupid people are praised and have the power to wipe out anyone they choose.

          • Yehia Ashraf ElKholy

            Allen…thanks for your persiverance in convincing me that I am religious and that I am arrogant and all those insults you threw around…it was an amusing conversation…you are convinced religions are evil and religious people are bad…good for you…I never tried to convince you otherwise.

      • @yehiaashrafelkholy:disqus @disqus_v15IHZQYUe:disqus – Appreciate both the perspectives here thanks for commenting. There’s certainly something quite magical to be experienced when feeling what seems to be a greater energy running through everything. IMO – this was experienced through meditation without any religious beliefs. Though personification of said experience often leads to dogmatic belief systems and most unfortunately a separation of self and other. After all, it’s interesting to understand that all religions are talking about the same sensual experience, which everyone has access too without any kind of religion. Sam Harris talks extensively about this in his new book ‘Waking Up – Spirituality without Religion’ that just jumped up the NYT book list – do check it out if this interests you.

        It’s easy to label those who have a personal belief in god to be ignorant but the only truth you have is your own experience. Many eastern religions have multiple gods that represent both positive and negative energies, chaos and order, yin and yang. Where in Buddhism it’s said to reach enlightenment, is to transcend ‘gods’ because god’s are generally perceived as having power over others as Allen is arguing against. Curiosity has led you both to explore these great metaphysical questions so I can only implore you to, with open minds, explore further if it interests you. Though humorously, only deeper questions await.

        Here’s some food for thought I think you’d both enjoy:

        Thanks for reading!

      • Cecilia Haro

        Wow this guy is just scrolling through all the comments just looking for someone who even just remotely mentions god and he attacks them with his words. If someone believes in God and it makes them happy so be it. If anything you sound worse them them just verbally attacking them you sound hateful not everyone is the same don’t let some past negative experiences affect your thinking on everyone who believes in God. Calm down.

        • Allen

          ok lets say all of that is true… It’s not even close to thinking that others who aren’t like me who aren’t worshiping a God should burn forever. So you can say that i sound worse but i will never said as worse as a religious person….

  • Solomon Grundy

    I like complaining. It makes me happy.

    • It makes the illusory ego happy @disqus_zi8af1ff7x:disqus sure!

      • Solomon Grundy

        Maybe it makes YOUR illusory ego happy. My Illusory ego is actually quite mindful and wishes I’d shut the hell up.

  • Helaine O. Newman

    Positivity, like negativity, is contagious!

    • simple and to the point, could make a LLE poster for this, thanks for posting @helaineonewman:disqus

  • camila

    not doing things that i dont care for….and do spending time on things that matter to me. Allowing myself to be my True Self under any circumstance; this is when I am the most Happiest!!! And when good energy is moving constantly through me and others; and we all share it at the same time….keeping it going… making all of us feel good about who we are and what we truly think 😉 this is also when I am at most joyful moments in my life.

  • swiyper

    Happiness is what all that matters most in life, here’s a personal story i wanted to share.. from an early years. My passion and happiness was always Helping the needy and always doing the right things .. I’m not Just saying this for the sake of ” feel good ” point of view perspective, But base on decades of being a care giver to very the sick and the dying … to the chronic Mentally ill … and even to the very outcast hardcore criminals .. yes and even fought and BEAT all with my might the corrupt, indolent Government officials and its form of bureaucratic government realm… My perseverance was guided by compassion that ultimately lead to my self realization of happiness.

    I am still Haunted by painful memories of my childhood .. long NEGLECT .. the emotional, verbal, physical abuse i suffered … But had turned out to be the opposite, all this negative brought the best in me.

  • Pingback: 10 things happy people don't care for | Live Le...()

  • draklore

    Other things happy people don-t care about (disclaimer: in good health & stable home):
    -Stuff. You know, that fancy car and iphone thatwas released just last week, I noticed when I’m happy I don’t seek validation or enjoyment in matieral possessions, I find im greatful for everything I have anything else feels excessive, not to mention pointless, when my connection and relationship to other people is more fulfilling than anything ever could be.

    • @draklore:disqus I can certainly vouch for this, it’s not that material accumulation is avoided as much as it just doesn’t come to mind – unless it’s a necessary purchase where regular lack of said product or service is negatively impacting my life on an experiential level.
      Thanks for your input!

  • Really good article here. Definitely can see that you have lived some life and learned. Thanks

  • fab

    This morning I was thinking that what makes me happy is a good cup of coffee, breakfast, the bread I bake and being with the right people, or simply just by myself and dance!

  • Pingback: Why I’m Never Going to Write an Article Titled “The X Number of Things Happy People Do” | Kate Marolt()

  • kim amico

    You. Will no when a toxic relationship with family is enough when all you tried has sucked tthe life out you. A rubber room cant save some people. Live and let live ! Amen !

  • croakiestatus

    i don’t think “happy” people “block out” things. in fact, if you’re blocking out “things” you’re abandoning the challenge to test personal beliefs.

    • “Your pain is your Guru…” comes to mind!

  • Pingback: 10 things happy people don’t care for | diaryofapartymum()

  • Dan Sanders

    Conforming to society’s standards, or how I see it, Advertising. I cannot stand modern-day advertising. It’s just lies and fantasies that are trying to make us all conform to “happy” consumers. I don’t buy it (pun intended).
    I was watching the news this morning and their was something about Coke creating an ad campaign that had drug innuendos. They supposedly removed it and resurrected an older campaign. One of the news’ talking heads said it was a result of old ad execs failing to try to relate to millenials. Either way, none of it works on me. I buy the things I want and with copies amounts of research first. Also, I buy second hand as much as possible so there’s no need to have a poor, Chinese factory worker make another product to replace the one I bought.

    ∆ My little happy rant for the day.

    • I agree with you there. On the rare occasion I catch a glimpse on an advert (no television and I block YT ads) it’s often quite a painful experience. You become immune to their psychological tactics as they become really quite transparent.

      We just uploaded a really great Banksy comic on the topic of advertising I think you’ll like here:

      Thanks for reading @dan_sanders:disqus

  • Ray Mangini

    Taking advice about your life from a break dancer is like taking investment advice from a guy with a sign that says, “Will work for Food. Anything will help.” Don’t plan for anything, don’t hang around ‘toxic’ people. You know, I find it odd it’s often the most toxic people that are calling everyone else toxic.

    Perhaps these people are ‘toxic’ because they expect you to make a real living instead of spinning on your head and offering BS life advice.

    • Oh @raymangini:disqus, come on dude that’s a pretty pessimistic approach to the article. Why not tell us what points you don’t agree with and why so we can discuss them without insults?

      Thanks for reading!

    • C L

      That was great!

  • Charlene Lo

    Thank you so much for this article!! youre amazing!!

  • Linda Corrin

    This is a wonderful article thank you!

  • deepsense

    i do all these 10 things and iam still not happy…ok the past made some traumas and cant avoid it but understand and aware of that written about it but still no change…so its easy to say that do

    • What’s upsetting you @deepsense:disqus?

  • Andoemz Gakplianwana Ejceay

    11. Happy people don’t care if you spelled the word “realized” wrong. 😀 Happy
    people know that we are only human and make mistakes sometimes.

    • American vs English spelling there my friend!

  • theprincesswashere NKK

    Am always happy because I see people all equal and always looking forward to meet them.
    Its true about the kindness. If I do something and people complement me I shy away but really inside is what has build my confidence. I always get complements from my co workers and random people though am not the good looking but feeling loved by people is so nice.

    I always speak out un intended and unfortunately people can tell when I don’t like what they are doing or disagreeing with them without saying it. Its really bad but its good as sometimes people don’t know what they are doing is affecting you in a negative way and most people when they know what u dislike they won’t do it.
    am always happy for anyone’s success as I know its their effort. Being jealous really can ruin your day.

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  • Feelerino

    I just want to have sex at least before she dumps me… 🙁

  • panino

    kasia’s eyes make me happy

  • Hamed

    can someone be unsure whether he is happy or not?

  • Esther tan

    Thank you for your write up. It made me slightly happier. “The words of others are never accurate”

  • Dave Larry

    I smoke some pot at night to help me sleep.Not a big pot smoker tho..I also take painkillers if a know a bullshit day is coming up.Try and steer clear of energy drinks.They make u anxious and irritable in theong run.Dont do drugs every day.Its too expensive.Try to get laid but dont settle for less than u deserve just for the sake of breaking the ice.We have enough to feel bad about.No point in addiing bangin an ugly person to the list.Thats all i got off the top.. See you later,home slice !

    • Interesting point of view there Dave. Instead of marijuana to aid sleeping, magnesium worked for me in the past. There’s a few decent ‘deep binaural sleep aid beats’ on YouTube that placebo or not helped me too.

      Thanks for reading!

  • meenakshi

    My boyfriend he is my life he is my everything he is like god to me. Every time I just talk to him he creates an positive attitude and environment around me that helps me when I am sad or thinking negative he let go all these shitty things. I really want to love him a lot in NY whole life and live without any fear of thinking about somebody who thinks about me anything. I just really live him for what he was what he is and what he yet to be .

  • Alexis Langston

    Looking for the simplisticity and removing those “stories” pre-programmed for us has definitely made me happier. I guess I enjoy having fun like I did when I was younger and I had not a care in the world.

  • Gabriel Guzman

    With those who are “toxic” and “self-destructive” that’s really not fair do you ever think that people might be this way due people being mean or judgemental to them?

    • @disqus_Oxmv2RmhVR:disqus IMO – Yes, self destructive behavior is often attributed to the negative actions of others, we are after all a product of our environment and consequently in my experience that’s why it’s important to responsibly distance ourselves from those who consistently think in this destructive/negative manner – it can bring you down with them. Though of course I’d encourage conversing and listening to them with compassion to help them out, it’s just unrealistic to help everyone because unfortunately for many, the ego enjoys the drama and pain this way of thinking can incur.

      Thanks for reading Gabriel, have a great weekend!

  • meeshee

    Not sure how to start this…because of the
    extreme verbal abuse done to me by my mother as a child I was always afraid of
    people and thought they all looked at me the same way my mother did. I am not
    sure if that is why my views of the world and my thoughts are outside of
    “social norms” and I cannot even understand how social norms can dictate

    thoughts or perceptions. We all have our own brains. We are all so unique.
    Social norms rob you of things. I feel if I let social norms impact me, I would
    have never looked for things/wisdom/light in life in the places I have.

    I am not sure if religion is grouped as a social norm, but a family and their
    specific religion they are in my view seems like a form of a social norm may of
    came about and how most people For example, I was raised in a Catholic family
    and so was my parents and their parents and

    on and on. I feel like social norms just separate people. Like different kinds
    of religions. I will not choose one. I feel God is everywhere..and I would love
    to go to a different church every Sunday. Why should I limit my exposure
    because my family was catholic? Doesn’t each

    religion believe in a higher power, regardless of whom that is to each? Why are
    the majority of say Irish people Catholic…Muslims, Jews etc.

    Today we did an exercise in a training session I attended to be a volunteer for
    hospice. We were given just head shot pictures of people. We were
    supposed to look at that person and write down what age we thought they were,
    what sex, what occupation we thought they did for a living, what culture,
    country we thought they were from.

    I felt disturbed by this. I do
    not see people in that way nor could I think that way to answer the questions
    asked. I took this activity as the instructor wanted our judgment.
    I could not answer those questions. So, I answered with what I saw.
    Example: one picture the majority of the class said he was an African American
    homeless person. What I saw and thoughts I had, had nothing to do with any of
    those questions I was supposed to answer and I did not answer

    them in that manner. The so-called homeless man…I saw his smile and joy in his
    eyes. I said I wanted to know what he was looking at that was so pleasing to
    his eyes. I do not label people, I see a human who is the same as you or I.

    Why are the majority of say the Irish Catholic…Muslims, Jews etc.

    Maybe because I lived under a rock as a child and until about 8 years ago or
    so, that is why social norms did not have an effect on how I perceive people or
    things. I do not watch the news or much TV. I do not fill my life
    with things that are negative. I strive and seek out the positives. Maybe if my
    childhood was not filled with such negatives I would not strive so much for the
    positives. I am an amazing person, just as we all are. If you spend enough time
    you will

    see that. My outer appearance does not fit into the accepted “social norms” and
    never was it accepted by my mother. I feel like my outwardly appearance is a
    protector of my pure genuine heart to keep those who judge a book by its cover,
    and shallow people away from me. Only those who can get a glimpse and look into
    my heart will see how beautiful I truly am. I feel like because I am so different
    from most on my views of the world and do not accept or allow social norms to
    rule me…I am an annoying person to talk to. As I have opened up and
    have accepted and love myself just as I am flaws and all, I have felt more
    comfortable talking to people and sharing my different ways of looking at
    things. We talked about ethical dilemmas today, and I had a lot of views that
    awed people. I am trying to think of social norms that I have

    followed…I am married…I do live in a house… I think my marriage could be so
    much more pleasant if my husband and I lived in separate homes. I left him once
    and moved out, and we actually grew closer. We would have dinners together at
    his place or mine. It felt like as if we were dating. In nursing school I did
    not socialize outside of class much with anyone. School was stressful as you
    could imagine…but gosh students spent so much time complaining

    about the stress. I didn’t need to be around that, it just got in my way of
    being successful in school. If they just spent the amount of time studying
    verses complaining that could accomplish so much more as well. I would be so
    annoyed at the amount of class time wasted with things that were not important.
    Like a day before an exam….how many questions are going to be on the exam…how many
    points will each question be worth. And on and on. Sorry..maybe that does not
    have anything to do with social norms. In school there was this janitor that
    everyone would talk about and refer to him as, oh the creepy looking janitor.
    One day this particular janitor came into a class I was in before it started,
    there were 2 other students there and me…he asked what class this was, and then
    the next moment he is lecturing us about amazing over our head information
    about nursing medical stuff. I was so impressed..when he was done I walked up
    to him and introduced myself to him. I got to know
    him more passing in the halls and just having friendly conversation.
    One day he was emptying a trash can and he said to me “it is amazing the things
    people throw away. He was taking home things the instructors would throw away
    and reading and learning from them. I was a “B” student in nursing school

    (84%-91% is what was considered an A in my nursing program”, and here was this
    man that the majority of the students talked rudely about and steered clear
    of…and he knew more than I did and was teaching me things about nursing and
    medical conditions. I had more intelligent

    conversations with him and he would challenge me about things. Gosh, he would have
    made a great tutor..But you see because of social norms and he was looked at as
    lower class citizen, and perceived as not an intelligent person, no one even
    gave him a second glance to

    see beyond his labeled title of “the janitor” to discover his brilliance. There
    are many hidden treasures in places and people, whom people who not normally
    socialize with because of the “labelling” people do and classifying people. As
    I continue to lift the heavy rock I have lived under for so long, it saddens me
    to see these things. I will never allow the happenings or others to change “my
    wonderland” that I live in.

    I had to fill out a form today and it asked

    me questions we have all most likely have been asked. Religion:____________

    I was disturbed by these questions for the

    first time. I entered “human” for race and said on the line for religion “God
    is everywhere”. Please share with me your thoughts on these things I have
    mentioned. I absolutely love criticism and others perspectives on things. Thank
    you for your time and reading my post. I wish you happiness, peace, love, and

    • Thanks for writing such a detailed perspective Meeshee. I can not criticise your perspective, only you know intuitively what is right for your own experience. You may enjoy our latest article ‘What is reality? What is God?’ an excerpt from an Alan Watts book. Check it out here:

  • g

    you could also say this is 10 things highly depressed people dont care about..

    • I’d partly disagree, caring about a combination of these led me to some very dark mindsets in the past, particularly the ‘negative state of the world’ and ‘conforming to society’ when you have to choose to go against family, peers and friend’s expectations.

  • casarock travel

    this just about says it all, if you want to be happy and lead a successful life.

  • Guest

    It must be nice not to suffer from depression

  • vinici

    Right now I feel like nothing is making happy in this life. Not even following Jesus. I know money don’t bring real love to anybody. But have a stable life and have the things I need will definetly make me happy. But as for now I still blue 🙁

    • C L

      According to all the Happy People here, you are toxic. I’m sorry that they feel that way. I know it’s been a year since you posted here, but I hope that you have found some form of contentment and happiness during that time Vinici.

  • Dude

    Don’t help people that are out to use you. They are usually quite easy to identify.

  • anonymous

    we are only human are we not
    are you running away from your sadness
    to feel nothing but happiness in theory would be nice
    but we feel sadness for a reason
    to bring meaning to our existence
    without meaning we are naught

  • JimmyD

    I notice ‘Money’ is not on the list.

  • :Laurie

    Its simply called a positive attitude which many people weren’t taught. If you are strong, perhaps you can teach someone or many….give the gift…

  • Happy people are a small, dinky minority compared to the folks in their lives that fret. And Fret. AND FRET. LOL! Depression is fretting in the past. Anxiety is fretting about the future. The folks around ya, the family fretters–darn, not just family, the world at large–belittles happiness because it doesn’t involve fretting. Beyond merely belittling, they invalidate happiness because it is beyond their ken. Us happy folk need to realize that optimism isn’t a swear word.

  • Gigi

    Happiness is sometimes achieved when you feel free from what others think about you. I’m a work in progress on this but gotten closer to not caring what others think within the last year. When I’m in it, it feels great!

    I’ve read some of your articles and really like your perspective, inspiring…

  • Baillie18193

    You can’t be oblivious to the negative state of the world. If you’re how the fuck do you expect it to get better? This is why the world is so fucked up, because you “happy” people are just walking around like the sun shines out of the asses of the people fucking everybody.

    And ignoring “toxic” people. What kind of word is that to describe a person? It’s fucking disgusting, it really is. I’m assuming this is referring to people who are susceptible to depression and/or see the world from a different perspective than your rainbow and glitter filled, weak little mind.

    Fear is not real? Ha! Give me a barbed wire wrapped bat and put me in a room with a “happy” person. Lets see if they still think fear is fake. Fear is a feeling, like sadness, hopelessness. By saying fear is not real, you are saying all other feelings are a fallacy. Including the one you are writing this bullshit post about.

    You wannabe writers make me sick, you write these ignorant lists instead of writing something with meaning. You haven’t got the creative drive to write something with heart, so you write this shit.

    • Hoose Ya Deddy

      Morons just dont get it. They dont give a shit, as long as they maintain their so called ,,happy ” state, which is nothing more than a conformist – consumerist status-quo. I have been hearing this my whole life, and I still get frustrated hearing this kind of explanation for everything.

  • Nishanth

    That I’m a part of this Existence and the Existence wil never go against itself. All is happening the way it is, if I’m nt able to accept a happening then it’s my mind setup. All I got to do is to be at my Best of what I’m capable as a being. Thanks for sharing. I Agree with all the 10points u have shared…;):)

  • Becky

    Unbelievably brilliant article. I love so much that age is in there. Numbers do not mean a thing! Like weight. Who cares how much you weigh? It’s how you feel that matters! And caring what others think or say about you. Why does that matter? It doesn’t! This article truly reflects my outlook on life and made me so much happier! Thank you!

  • Josefine Ave

    What about when the toxic person is the father of your children and your spouse? Makes life pretty hard sometimes….:'(

  • Raughable

    Double-edged article…Go ahead be carefree…

  • hrearden

    #3 wrong. Poor starving people with a broke down car that they can’t afford to fix, and are wondering how they will pay the rent, are not happy. People who are meeting their financial needs doing work that does not interest them are not happy. Happy people have figured out how to make a living doing whatever it is that they love. They are their work, and their work is them. Think Bruce Lee. That is the exact opposite of what is said here.

  • enlguy

    So if I don’t care for clothes, I should walk around naked everywhere and amass thousands of dollars in fines from law enforcement assholes who are “just doing their jobs?” I’d be happier, but I’d also face discrimination. The problem with much of today’s society is it doesn’t believe in “live and let live.” It’s filled with people who publicly cry out against anyone who thinks and acts differently from themselves. Let’s face it, Americans are assholes, on the whole.

  • Liz Pollitt

    I need to leave a comment to your website. On the 9th of May 2014 my life changed forever when my daughter showed up at my place of work and said “Mum, Dad has had a stroke!” Forget your airy fairy meanings to happiness. I sat with my husband of 35 years in ICU, because I LOVED HIM! And one year later he is home, learning to walk and talk again. We both lost our jobs and are living off welfare. But we both paid in all our working lives too, and never claimed until this suddenly landed on us.. Happiness is accepting yourself, accepting all around you, and love the one you are with. Take that from an old person who has to wipe her husbands ass every time I get him to the toilet.

  • Paris Panayi

    st paul said…live everyday like its your last. let nothing trouble you cause it will all finish soon. also said…be around good people and away from bad. but also said, do good to bad people.

  • jx64

    the only true way to be happy is to do what you feel like doing, period. i have a nice family, who care about me and try their best to make me happy, but i still tend to isolate myself from them, and generally from society. i like being a loner, and i doubt that will change. people have hurt me, and i don’t trust them anymore. of course they can change, and i can forgive them, but that doesn’t necessarily mean i want to unite with them. and vice versa, i want positive change yes, but that doesn’t mean i want to give up my independence.

  • Pat Flarety

    Isn’t realisation spelled realization? Spell check next time you write an article this good. I like #10.

  • Dennis Teel

    i noticed a lot of people here posting probably would have a problem with people like me who smile and just seem happy all the time …I pay my bills, i do my best ,i don’t overspend,i have bad times as well as good but the bad times I don’t let’worry’ me..i keep smiling cause i know i’ve been through worse and things always resolve..worry doesn’t add anything to any situation…I’m always happy, and seeing the positive side.i won’t hang out with somebody who’s always surrounded by drama..and I see that a lot in public..I’m a regular customer in a local Diner and it seems like over 90% of thee people I overhear sitting nearby are deep into drama type of situations..many are regulars and ALWAYS talking drama issues..i carry my tablet everywhere I go so i usually put my headphones on so I don’t have to continue hearing them..i don’t mean to hear them,but most people don’t seem to care how loudly they’re speaking in public.and of course often I’m sitting right beside them at the counter.i believe trye happiness is rare today,to the degree that most people dislike others who are smiley and in a great mood most if not all the time

  • Julie Christie

    What makes me happy right now is embracing the real me. I stopped conforming to society’s standards and the decision to shut down from negative people and if they are a family member, I limit my exposure to them. I embraced hobbies and passions that I find interesting. I became happier and learned to love myself. I was at the most productive stage of my life. My life isn’t perfect but I can truly say I’m at my happiest.

  • Brian Sousa

    spot on post <3 i recently got into poetry and freelance journalism, so pretty much writing makes me happy 😀

  • Chanajun Sangmung

    No one or no thing can make you always happy, you have to think positive because you will find positive lives in the future.
    stay with the real live.
    accept everything came to your life.
    ‘everything gonna be fine’

  • Ngọc Lam

    A smile 🙂

  • Huong Le

    When serendipity happens and everything goes as planned or even better then planned. When things inspire me. When I can make others happy with my efforts. When Im surrounded by other inspired, interesting, happy people enjoying life. That’s when I’m most happy. That’s when my soul is content 🙂 🙂

  • Erlend

    Good advice. Still, I do not think happiness should be a goal in itself. It is okay to be sad, it is okay not to grasp every opportunity. It is okay to be angry and complain. If this is not okay, then happiness will be a yoke/burden to carry. In these FB times it is easy to think that one ought to smile more, do more interesting things, have more friends etc. This is a lie, you are doing okay.

    • @disqus_eZJlcoiEPZ:disqus yeah the striving for happiness seems trivial, since in a chaotic world where naturally things don’t always go to plan (at least to the individual’s expectations maybe so on the cosmic scale haha) happiness is fleeting. Therefore sadness is also fleeting and temporary. Perhaps what we’re looking for is peace. Feeling content. Not needing to add anything to the immediate experience we’re having.

  • Laura Collins

    Alden you are funny 🙂 enjoyed this!

  • Unruly One

    Yeah, this really doesn’t help me in the slightest. Avoiding toxic people has become virtually impossible seeing as how they are everywhere. Finding the non-toxic ones is what I strive for but it’s next to impossible and at this rate I’m never going to get a girlfriend. I’m 35 now and I’m still searching for my 1st.

  • swiy1289

    I’m sorry to say this but I think this is a rather superficial article. I know that in some cases it may be helpful to others, so in that respect I will give it that much credit. Problem is why is the seemingly self destructive (toxic) individual articulated as a shitty and exploitative person(article/comment interpretation)? For some of us, there isn’t an “on/off switch” that we can flip on, and feel happy again, and there is even lesser of a chance to being understood when being labelled as a toxic person, and being thrown out like garbage when maybe professional help should’ve been involved but a reliable support system would have been nice. Sorry, now I’m just ranting. I’ll show myself to the door, and occasionally peek back out of curiosity.

    • yeah agree there’s a quote that I think summarises this really well.

  • Really

    Well they certainly have Nothing to complain about, that is for sure.


    I have to disagree with half of the points in this article.

    4. Fear is very real and not something imagined. It is a basic human emotion and there is nothing wrong with having this response to something unless it is very irrational and taking over your life.

    5. Having negative reactions to the negative state of the world is okay as well. Being sad or upset or hopeless is an okay response to something unless your are constantly feeling this way and it is taking over your life and causing you pain. And I’m not sure about you but I’m not sure I want to meet this person who blatantly disregards feeling any negative emotion to something negative.

    7. The past or the future. I don’t think I have to explain this one, but the past can greatly affect the present and can actually be a good indicator of what could happen next in history. Especially dealing with family, friends, yourself, etc. And there’s nothing wrong with thinking ahead or planning something for the future. Organization can cause much less stress than just going with the flow. With both of these you must realise that the past does not always indicate the future and planning something does not always mean it’s going to go according to plan. Just realise you’re not in control of anything but yourself and you’ll be much happier with the way some events turn out.

    9. Complaining. What can I say, sometimes a good vent/rant can be food to the soul. You can’t always keep everything bottled up inside. If you’re a constant complainer consider getting a diary and writing down the things you need to get off of your chest. There’s nothing wrong with being to let off a little steam, WE ALL DO IT.

    8. Expecting anything back in return. This whole statement just sounds vindictive. You give up expectations of receiving anything in return just so you’re not disappointed when you don’t? Well when you’re always the one giving and not receiving because people know you don’t expect anything and they tend to walk over you and take advantage, you’ll see how quickly your thoughts on this will change.


    • Hi Fannedoolee, thanks for the rant, completely agree with some of this, especially your final statement. This article is really quite shallow. Striving for happiness is somewhat futile when ultimately I think what most people mean by finding happiness is really finding peace. Happiness is fleeting, sadness is fleeting, peace is our natural state of being.

      Fear, is an interesting one because how did we move from rational fears – like a wild hungry bear approaching us – to irrational fears like authority and politics?

      Past and future are concepts that don’t have any inherent existence but I agree they are useful in the context of planning our lifestyle in the current system of society for sure.

      Complaining is another interesting one, I see it as a way we delay the often inconvenient actions we must take to resolve an issue. Which generally isn’t constructive but agreed it has it’s uses. Generally I opt for wordless venting like the gym or going for a run.

      Statement 8 I wholely agree with, attachment to the opinions of others in the wake of our positive actions is really quite amusing. Selfless action is the path to resolving all of the human issues on the planet today. As wei wu wei so poignantly stated:

      “Why are you unhappy?
      Because 99.9 per cent
      Of everything you think,
      And of everything you do,
      Is for yourself –
      And there isn’t one.”

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  • Bantu

    Its been put in simple terms.You’ve laid a very good foundation here.Putting away childish things is not for everybody.I love it and thank you for the word.

  • amine ghandi

    Im sorry for my English iam morrocan
    Islam Made me so happy
    I was not different of others, doing all thing that i taught that will make me happy but nothing just empty heart.
    one time i site down and think what will make me happy ?ah yes and i set a goal
    when i arrive in my goal i said , my happiness is not there where is my hapiness
    and i tried something else other time , finding the purpose of my life and i have say oh Allah guide me please
    now i am the happiest person ever ever ever thank you Allah
    – all this thing you said in you page we dont care at all
    we caring just about allah ,Messengers ,our self and our each other and islam and guiding people to the truth.
    i am writing this comment to your best all of you i wish to all of you converting in islam
    i swear you will be the happiest person in the word if you will be a muslim
    this is a Channel will describe to you wath is islam

    • Thanks for your comment Amine, I think perhaps everyone interprets the same power from with different linquistic labels e.g. god, jesus, allah, nature, spirit..etc. The same feeling or sensation outside of the mind’s narrative but all using different paths, techniques or belief systems to get them there. If it has meaning to you and it makes you a better person, then that’s what works for you, go with it, but not everyone is the same.

      Thank you for reading

  • love urself

    thank you 🙂 its me…. people use to judge easily by face, gesture and body mass, as thin or fat, but they don’t know one thing, i am already skilled in self development. I love being single, it makes me peace and free and again others have different mindset, thinking one cannot live being single and i am already proved to myself 🙂 that anything is possible if we change our own mind set and beliefs. This has nothing to do by anybody else. Some just cannot live in dangerously awesomeness which gives freedom to self. Some people think me as crazy, some cold, some weak, some mystic and some just plain old person, well “that is again non of my business”…!!!

  • おとめ座ひなたぼっこ

    well writen

  • SonOfTheIsles

    Sounds to me as though you let life wash over you.

    Going with the flow even if the world isn’t going in the right direction.

    I keep away from bad influences but if the world is a bad place and I don’t fight against it then life will be bad for everyone.

    The consequences of that is that there is nothing left to enjoy in life because it has been destroyed.

  • Ceunei

    I just dumped all of my toxic friends. I have no friends left and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.
    Who knew those people I chose in my youth would become…..or have they always been……so toxic. I was once them, which is why I attracted them. I wish them well, but I must go on my own life with all my energy intact.

  • Wcs Interiors

    i totally agree with all the above,

    thats how i live, people say why don,t you care. I say i don,t care but in a nice way i don,t care becuase i realised i don,t have buy the latest gadget or get the best house on the street or the fancy new car. I don,t care about keeping up with the jones, i see how humans have become so false in there actions and how a mobile phone has taken over there interaction with humans and friends over all. Credit card sire – let me think mmmmmmmmmmm NOOOOOOOoooo its just a piece of plastic with a silly print on it. Sure having money is good, taken credit puuffff no thanks ever heard of the keep net ?. Just like tv a mass glass panel for marketing nothing more, set up for one thing and one thing only to get your money. You have to look with better eyes than that to stay away from the toxic pool so to speak, and you know what im very happy some thing todays people have forgotten to do, ie be happy but seperate your self from tv and markets and goverments for sure they have pumped so much propaganda at you that its become too intruesive in your personal life. I see a lot of stressful people getting all wound up over silly things in the street and drivers are the worst, taking it out of the driver in front who has done nothing wrong to you except to drive, you take way to personal to drive a car, actually your very funny in your forgotten lack of self control, its so easy to do.

    i guess humans have a weakness and have not educated them selves in some free time, to say was it me or them that caused that hate, admitting to your self is the first step, its so easy people. Just be happy, do your own thing, and remember to not hurt anyone around you, in fact why don,t you try and help them to understand a little more. Negative people and manipulators and for sure there is a lot of con artists and manipulators out there in that world today, but hey i don,t care just smile and move on forward people, leave them behind to wollow in there hate and miserable out look in life.

    I see what goverments have done to most people, i decided you aint dragging me into that party, no sir. And you know what it worked, i here all the time how they wished they had listened, its well and good to listen but you have to break free and actually carry it out, to be happy. This is what business and govermetns and toxic folk prey ie your fear, that is what keeps you trapped. Fear is not real, its just feeling of emotions, let the go to the wind people.

    Stop going on emotion, it will only drag you down. Be happy and enjoy your life. ask your self this, for the last 6 monmths how and when was i truely happy with life and for me ?????, are you or are you fooling your self hoping its will be better tomorrow. Really i don,t think so, go with a smile and enjoy your life, remember yoru life….. So go out there and have lots of fun do what ever to get there, but be happy, start making lists if you wish on what you want to do, learn to stop stressing and i mean actually do it, work at let stress go. If you don,t it will consume you as a person, stress is a killer. So be like me laugh at it move on down the line, rise above it, learn some thing new to replace stress, train your self to break free from modern society its to crazy to live that world, and then if you follow that world you have so many regrets in the end, you know im right. So have you forgotten you can live on your terms and your way, too many dress the same do the same act teh same, take a good look around you. Be free and happy folks.

    toxic people and propaganda – sticking toungue out see ya no thanks not here.

    open your eyes people actually look at the people arond you and say this to your self are they happy or do they look as if they are doing all they can to avoid others and hide away, is that what you want in your life, of course its not.

    Question is – are you gonna stay in that keep net or are you for once in your life break free and move on and keep doing it.

    trust me it worked wonders for me, i finally realised what all this rubbish around me has been doing to me early on, and choose not to follow like everyone else.

    but the funny thing is more and more people are choosing to break free and actually doing it. Are you free and happy or has the goverment been feeding you bit by bit a load of propaganda rubbish and the big greedy business,s. Stop following and stop handing over your money so easily people think and think well my friends,

    I fully agree with anyone on this page and those arond the world.


  • Zouhair Ouirou

    The worst thing is that when your friends become toxic and u keep always trying to get them back to the right bath. However, there is 80% of doubt that one day they will join you to the mess

  • Alex

    From the Happy movie three things that are concluded from it and ring true in my own life : In order to up your happiness level, 1)seek your passion 2) be gracious 3)volunteer

    • Great list Alex! Seeking passion is something I’ve been talking about alot this week. How would you explain to someone the process of finding your passion?

    • Great list @disqus_Ai6hhBFhu3:disqus .Seeking passion is something I’ve been talking about alot this week. How would you explain to someone the process of finding your passion?

      • alex

        I am a writer. To be more specific a playwright with over 12 plays produced, I have musician and painter friends andwe have this thing we call soul food. Soul food is that thing (fill in the blank_____) that feeds your soul makes feel alive gives you purpose. This can be anything woodworking, mechanics, hiking you name it its your passion its your heart. This passion can change from time to time as you develop but it is usually lifelong.

  • Angie

    What do you do when you have not got a clue what makes you happy? When your happiness rests in a future that you hope to have but unable to achieve it? When your happiness is hope and expectation that someone would do what it takes to make your happiness come true? I feel that I am often wasting my days. Cant seem to be happy no matter how hard I try. Maybe I have lost perspective on life and trapped in my own thoughts. I know people say that we should be grateful for what we have, good health, shelter, family, friends, job, money and freedom to do what we want. There is only so much we can focus on this. When you look around, most people have this and the ones that do not have it, we feel sorry for them. We often get trapped in our own western world problems i.e. we complain about how awkward that dress looks on someone or why the train does not run on time, or why the train is so packed. People cannot handle such small adjustments, but in a third world country people are less bothered about these things and it does not reduce their happiness. For me, not being able to see a future and having nothing to look forward to are the biggest difficulties. Coming to terms with accepting that the person is no longer in my life is very difficult.

  • vvv

    this article struck me as mostly dogma

  • Naive Relabih

    What makes me happy is Knowing that the world is not a permanent place – this makes me forget about the things most people are fond of. Plus, not worrying who I am in the eyes of many and who I’ll be in the future.

  • Andrew Angeles

    im happy im alive.
    im glad that the article reflects what i am aspiring to become.

  • Stephan

    The best example of happiness to me is Goku, the character in dragonball. He is portrayed as the perfect human being and has everyquality and way of thinking that has been stated in this article. DB is honestly one of the most influential series and I guarantee that anyone who watches it gains countless life lessons and motivation to do and be better.

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  • Justin Perez

    Homeostasis =/= happiness

  • Lynn

    I try not to worry about anything. I very much agree with a saying I learned from my late wife, “Mind busy, heart happy.”

  • Woyedelly09

    Who ever is reading this testimony today should please celebrate with me and my family because it all started like a joke to some people and others said it was impossible. i am happily married with two kids and a lovely wife something terrible happen to my family along the line, i lost my job and my wife packed out of my house because i was unable to take care of her and my kids at that particular time. i manage all through five years, no wife to support me to take care of the children and there come a faithful day that i will never forget in my life i met an old friend who i explain all my difficulties to, and he took me to a spell caster and and the name of the temple is called, DR Olorun, i was assure that everything will be fine and my wife will come back to me after the wonderful work of Dr Olorun, my wife came back to me and today i am one of the richest man in my country. i advice you if you have any problem email him with this email: (, and you will have the best result. take things for granted and it will be take from you. i wish you all the best.


  • Adrian Brown

    I dont mean to be too mystical but maybe the toxic person is there for a reson, namley to piss you off enough to grow ? or be assertive and tell them to get lost?

  • Nicole Ehrenberg

    Hey, there is nothing that makes or can make me happy. I AM already happy and so I
    spread my happiness all over the place. That’s how mine increases to the infinite…

  • Albert Hegon

    I live the life the way i want and accept every consequence be it good or bad with a smile on my face. I don’t give a damn about what other people think and never will (unless it’s actually important). I work just to assure my survival and don’t get stressed out over it. My father was a Toxic person and i have lived with him until i was 18, anyway i thanks him for making my head headache every single day with his super unrealistically negative world view, because with his help i managed to learn what NOT to do in life. And so i live my life happy and I’m true to my desires. (within the law’s limit)

  • Everything except when my dad says that I Anna am mean, sick, that he’s sick due to old age, when he has said he’s here to help but when I take it to: going to the store and wanting to buy a new phone battery or something ‘otherwise simple (he’s 65)’, he doesn’t even call that ‘help’ — he only calls help like saying the telephone will work if recharged — and he always has a ‘for sure’ stance about himself, when some batteries like computers and phones otherwise get old as well; never mind that he doesn’t even ‘know’ life about anything if it’s not a book store, Amazon, Ebay, Wikipedia or Facebook. Except for instant messaging with me, he’s quit; even then he just put stuff up on ‘Mule Train’ stuff and other odd interesting ideas; he’s been sick since August if not before with the same old cough/Cold; I had Grand Mal Seizures from 13 months to 18 years, but had more reading and experience, memory, etc then, than almost all my relatives on both sides will ever have together. I felt signs of Celiac and Fibromyalgia for awhile yet they went away and was not diagnosed; I’ve been fine for over 10 years now and have moved since May, yet even mom doesn’t believe I’m all better or anything. — Fine but I can do on very little psychiatry medicine if any. The only other thing that bothers me is: when I ask a question by e-mail or something and the next thing mom or sister is to write has nothing to do with my question or category — like always!! Sometimes I have to write the same stuff over for 4 months for them to know anything. Or my sister at home the other day said: Nobody’s interested in anything I want to learn. Almost the same as what I said before; so either way, I happily asked her what; she’s over 40 and almost a voice specialist, so she would know; never told me; who knows if my spiritual chakra can build back up but they’re the ones suffering; I may be suffering a good life but I’m not suffering

  • 1, 3, 5, 6 and 10 can be right but you got a long ways to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Jennifer Fliegel

    I don’t think the job thing is necessarily true. Some of us are lucky enough that we have jobs and careers in areas that we are passionate about. It’s okay to let your job take over your passion or vice versa. I teach adults in a correctional halfway house. I love my job! It’s makes me happy and grateful that I spend my time helping others, while teaching something I love and being around people I enjoy and it pays the bills. I’m very lucky.

  • anoynamouse

    Nothing like happy people who are clueless to the worlds issues…

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  • Really good article. It makes me happy 🙂
    thank you

  • Jane Doe

    Thanks a lot! I really needed all of these! I have been doing nothing but be negative about all these things. Now I know. Thanks for the article and expanding on the topic.