Tantric sex is an ancient mindful and sensual practice, but it doesn’t involve anything too far out. Essentially, tantric sex is about awareness and intimate connection with your partner, as well as being in the moment, which can heighten your senses and experience when done with mindfulness and care.

Perhaps you feel curiously drawn to the idea of trying out tantric sex. But what’s it all about? To better your connection with your partner, leave reservations aside and explore the softer, sensual, and spiritual side of sex that can come from tantric practices.

Create a Space Ripe for Intimacy

Create a space that you and your partner will feel relaxed, playful and open within to explore your sensual sides.

Clear the space of clutter, so you can focus solely on your partner in a soothing and romantic atmosphere. Decorate the area with fertile flowers, cozy textiles and sumptuous scents. Smell triggers memory, but it also evokes your arousal — try out rose or jasmine. Spread your most comfortable sheets across the bed with several pillows. Make a playlist of your mutual favorites to play softly in the background. 

If you like, you can even allow cannabis to relax the body and mind — you don’t have to smoke it. You can use it in the form of a lubricant or massage oil, and studies support the power of CBD to increase libido, physical sensitivity and emotional connection. If you struggle with pain or stress, such mini-rituals may help you slip into the moment.

Breathe to Synchronize

It may seem unnatural at first, but to find balance and synchronicity with your partner, begin by harmonizing your breathing patterns. You can try straddling your partner across the lap, known as the yab-yum position, and inhale as they exhale, exhaling as they inhale. As they exhale, you accept their breath into your entire being, and as you exhale, you make the conscious effort to energize the breath your partner takes in. 

Conscious breathing matters to all meditation and yogic practices. Some more advanced practices have you follow a particular breathing pattern once you gain more experience, but it comes down to natural breathing and remaining in the present moment. That way, your senses enhance your experience and the immediacy and intimacy of the moment.

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“It’s time we saw sex as the truly sacred art that it is. A deep meditation, a holy communion and a dance with the force of creation. — Marcus Allen


Don’t Close Your Eyes

Many people close their eyes during sex. Too much staring creeps some people out. Perhaps they feel scared of the intimacy that eye contact inspires.

It’s understandable, but the core idea of eye contact comes back to forming a foundation of intimacy and fostering connection with your partner. Don’t think of it as a hard and fast rule, just an intention. When you look at your partner with intention, your perspective shifts, intensity increases and sensations invoke memory. Like it or not, this kind of eye contact holds the potential to truly transform the connection you have with your partner.

Coax Sensual Energy Like a Snake Charmer

In tantric sex, foreplay means everything. Coax that sensual energy as you let the arousal slowly build. Men specifically can actually control their longevity better while heightening their partner’s arousal levels. The longer you coax, the longer the session and the more powerful the energy.

Use the time to devote your senses to yourself and your partner fully. When your mind wanders, bring it back to the present and to your partner’s eyes.

Use Your Hands and Other Materials

Spoil your partner and connect with them by exchanging tantric massages. The goal of tantric massage isn’t orgasm but awareness of the moment as your body is treated with respect and love by your partner, and vice versa.

Slowly trail your fingers over your partner’s body, pausing and massaging wherever you feel called. You each may find the release of emotional blocks, increased circulation and arousal, promotion of joy and improvement of orgasmic potential. Your massage may or may not include touching genitals — that’s up to you.

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Tantric sex is an ancient mindful and sensual practice, but it doesn’t involve anything too far out. Essentially, tantric sex is about awareness and intimate connection with your partner, as well as being in the moment, which can heighten your senses and experience when done with mindfulness and care.

Over time, your bond with your partner will deepen after every session. You won’t feel far away from your partner, and every other area of life becomes more alive and fulfilling with the patience and passion of this loving practice you cultivate together.